Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
