Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
