The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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