Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
