Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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