There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
