I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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