she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
