Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
