We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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