but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
