Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
