This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
