Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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