what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize