put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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