Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
