apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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