I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
