I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
