In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
