and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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