super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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