talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
