yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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