I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
