I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
