Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
