Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
