I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize