he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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