God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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