Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
