So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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