Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
