i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So much rum. So many feels.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
