I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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