I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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