oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
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So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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