defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
