I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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