He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
