In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
