eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
