Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
