all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
