Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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