If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
