What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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