mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
