either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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