Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
