Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
