We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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