so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
