So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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