Kiss
Puke
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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