i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my poor anus
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize