i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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