He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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