fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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