farters have to be the big spoon...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
