That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
