she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
